No tags yet.
Dear Joy fam,
I wrote this post two Summer's ago, but did not feel compelled to share it with ya'll until now. There are some possibly disturbing things in this post, just to pre-warn you. I pray it will encourage, uplift and challenge you to trust God with everything.
As many of you know last Tuesday my brother was in a 4-wheeler accident. This post is about things God has been teaching me through this struggle and how God always takes care of His children.
The night I first saw my brother, I was teaching a piano lesson, but through the glass french doors I could see his pained face. He had driven all the way home from the ranch he works at, which is about 25 minutes away. At my first reaction I wasn't sure what to do. Whether or not I should start crying, asking questions, or freak out were all thoughts that were buzzing around in my head. Have you ever gotten that terrible feeling in the bottom of your stomach? Yeah, that is what I was feeling in that moment.
"Did he have brain damage? Would he ever look or be the same again? What are you trying to teach me God? If you were going to teach me something, did my brother really need to get hurt?"
My mom ran down to the bathroom, he threw up everywhere. Then she gave me a hug and rushed him to the Emergency Room. With eyes flooded with welling up tears I cleaned the bathroom. I knew he had a bad concussion otherwise he wouldn't have thrown up.
My arms and hands shook with anxiety, not knowing what was happening. Was I in some sort of daze or dream? I poured out my heart to my Jesus, knowing that He would hear me. It all felt so unreal. I went outside to check his vehicle to see if there was blood everywhere, and to my dismay he had absorbed blood with several tissues scattered across the front seats. His wallet was on the dash, coated with a thin layer of mud. He even left his lasso hanging around the side mirror all the way home. "How did he even get home?" I thought. I was reminded of Matthew 10:29-31 which says,
"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows."
God values YOUR LIFE. He values MY LIFE. He values ALL LIFE. Just as those verses say, God cares about every little thing that happens in our lives.
I knew that Satan was trying to flood my head with questions I couldn't answer, to make me give in to fear. Somehow, in that moment, fear was something that drove me to faith. I couldn't doubt a Father that had been so faithful in every moment of my life up until that point. If God was faithful then, He is still faithful now.
I'm going to tell you straight out, I sobbed and sobbed that evening. It wasn't out of fear however, it was out of thankfulness for all the wonderful years I had with my brother. You truly don't realize just how much someone means to you until they could be moments away from slipping out of your grasp. I prayed for God to give me His peace that surpasses all of my human understanding.
I realized that this peace isn't just something I receive when I leave my thoughts fixed on the issue. Rather this true, beautiful, hopeful, peace comes when I take my thoughts and trust in the God who created life itself. He tells the sun to rise in the East every morning, and lasso's the moon across the midnight sky. When I realized God is the I AM, the Alpha, Omega, Beginning, and the End. Then, that is when I had peace. He wants us to take our eyes off of our situations, our concerns, our regrets, and our fears realizing that He is in control no matter what the outcome is.
Is it easy? No, it sure isn't easy to take our eyes off of all that life brings. But when you get into a habit of falling on your knees whenever you feel the weight of the world it will become easier. God only wants us to grow in our love and faithfulness to him. And even though trials are difficult they are one of the greatest tools He uses to change our hearts.
Much to my relief, my brother was healed from the accident. But I knew that no matter how it ended God would still hold our family in His mighty strength.
I want to encourage you to take in the word of God and soak it into the depths of your heart. Luke 4:4 says,
"And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God."
We NEED God's word to TRULY LIVE! Meditate on it. Fix your heart on things above. Don't lose your peace dashing around and worrying about fickle things here on earth.
So, just a reminder my friend, press on! Fight the good fight! Do not lose hope! God is greater than anything or anyone you're facing today.